Extramarital affair: A relationship outside of marriage where an illicit romantic or sexual relationship or a romantic friendship or passionate attachment occurs.

I can assure you there was nothing sexual about my relationship with alcohol! But a passionate attachment? Hell yeah, alcohol was my sexy, mysterious mistress!

At first it was fun and dangerous, stealing moments with her when my husband wasn’t looking. An extra swig when topping up out the kitchen, a secretive small bottle before he came home. When I was on a night out without him it was game on. I could have as much of her as I liked and I knew my friends wouldn’t say anything, they liked her too!  

When my husband went away for work, she’d be there. It was always a rush to hide her when my husband rang to see how I was doing, but I managed it (I think). I was always nervous sleeping alone but she was great at tiring me out and getting me to sleep!

Slowly but surely she became less fun and more of a need. I felt I couldn’t do things without her. A night out? I needed her, she made me more confident. If she couldn’t be there I wouldn’t bother going. A lunch? What was the harm in letting her tag along? I live next door to the kids school, it wasn’t like I needed to drive to pick them up.

My husband started to suspect something was up, and when he raised the subject I reacted in such a manner that confirmed his suspicions. I defensively told him ‘he had no idea what he was talking about, and that he was exaggerating’. I realised at this point, things had gotten far too serious between my mistress and I, this was never supposed to happen. She had become more of a stalker!   

She’d been lurking in the background at, pretty much, every significant moment in my life since my marriage. She’d been my ‘go to’ in the good times, my crutch through the bad times and sat on the side-lines waiting silently through the rest, waiting to be called upon.

If my marriage was going to continue she had to go. So I sent her packing. Au revoir my sexy stalker!